Christmas Wish List for Carnies

While looking over my Christmas gift idea list, I was considering something Jim had mentioned that I had jotted down. He'd expressed interest in learning about keeping bees. It isn't surprising, as he is always interested in learning new hobbies, loves the outdoors, he likes all kinds of animals, and loves honey.
Upon research however, I learned that beekeeping may not in fact be a good hobby for someone that is gone from home for 8 months (or more) out of the year. I read that one needs to consider the time required for keeping bees about the same per hive as caring for a cat.
Since we have a cat, that is easy to understand. Of course, she can't stay home by herself for extended periods and so she travels with us. So... could we keep bees on the road? I suppose we could keep the hive outside our trailer, and it might even help with vandalism! Imagine the pesky local come looking for something to steal and hock, only to come away with a face full of startled bees!
Over the jump, however, things might get difficult. I suppose we'd have to load the hive into the back of Jim's SUV? They'd be riding in the back of the car, buzz buzz buzz-ing away. Some of these jumps are 300 miles or more, so we'd have to let the bees out for food and water. How could we be sure they'd come back? Jim let the cat get out of the car at a truck stop once, and had to get a stranger to open the hood of her car for him to pry her out. I would imagine doing that with the bees would be even trickier. Maybe a big net would help?
Would the cat get along with the bees? That's where the plan falls apart, because our cat already considers herself the Queen Bee of the household. No, on second thought, I just don't see her relinquishing her crown and title for the actual queen bee. I suppose I'll have to get more creative and come up with a better gift idea.

Tales from the Midway, 10/26/2009

On the midway last week I saw a message on a customer's t-shirt and it got me thinking. She was a mother, probably 30-ish, and was accompanied by her husband and two young children. Her t-shirt read, in extra-large print, "I have the P@#$%Y, I make the RULES".
When I told Jim about it later, he commented dryly, "I wonder if she wears that shirt to parent-teacher conferences at her kids school?" Hmmm, perhaps, but I think the larger issue here is: Is this the universal truth it appears to be at face value? Because if so, it's a game changer.
When I think of the hours of consultations with girlfriends, psychologists, and my mother about the men in our lives, and for what? We make the rules!
And men: how simple your life can be! SHE makes the rules!
Really, it's a moment of great clarity. And I realize it's and updated and more straight-forward version of "Happy Wife, happy life" or "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." But the new and improved slogan cuts right to the heart of it, and I predict could stop an argument before it starts!

Tales from the Midway, 10/23/2009

"Hey we want to get a picture, there are seven of us. How much would that be?" A man approached me at the photo booth. He wore a plaid shirt and a ball cap.
"Well, it's $5 a picture, so..."I responded before he cut in, "Can we all get in one picture?"
"That depends on the guys." I said, gesturing towards the coaster. "Why?" he asked, "Aren't you the boss?" I laughed at this, did someone set me up here? "No I'm not the boss!"
"Now see here," he said, getting frustrated, "I want one picture, now do you or don't you take the pictures?"
Now I'm the one getting frustrated. "It's up to them, the guys are in charge of safety!"
"What guys? You keep pointing thata way..."
"Look," I said slowly, realizing there was obviously something wrong here and this conversation was escalating toward an ugly place. "You get on the roller coaster, and..." he cut me off.
"Oh, you have to ride the roller coaster...oh..." and he walked away in a hurry. "Oh my..." I said to no one in particular.

Tales from the Midway, 10/20/2009

Today I was sitting in my photo booth when a man stopped by. He said "Look at this, just like at the theme parks! So you take pictures on the roller coaster? I've never seen anything like this!" Thinking he was an interested customer (believe it or not, he's not the first) I proceeded to give my speel about the camera, the sensor that triggers the camera and the flash/strobe. Then I see the photo and print it out from inside my booth. At this point, he lets me know he is a concessionaire (his tell-tale red logo polo hidden by his coat). He said "I have the giant gator." I had seen it, one of those "back end" shows, pay your dollar and look at an oddity. He introduces himself with a smile and a handshake, and I tell him my name. He suggests I "stop by and see me sometime."
I happily relay this encounter to my other half later, especially the part about how friendly the giant gator guy was. He responds, "He also has a giant snake." Oh honey, they all say that.